The A team at middle school is the best 12 kids. They’re going to win. Your kid might not be one of them. That’s okay. Actually, it’s good.
Kids who don’t make the top team at 13-14 often end up better off. They play on a team where they’re more valuable. They get more minutes. They develop faster. They don’t sit on the bench watching. By freshman year, they catch up to the kids who made A, then they pass them.
The kids who make A? Half of them sit. They get frustrated. Some quit. Some play conservative to avoid mistakes because mistakes mean shorter leash. That’s not development.
If your kid doesn’t make the A team, don’t treat it like failure. Treat it like placement. “You’re on the B team. That’s where you’re going to play the most and learn the fastest right now.”
When they come home frustrated, say: “I know you wanted A. Me too. But let’s watch how this works. You’re going to get big minutes. You’re going to make mistakes and learn from them. That matters more than sitting on the best team.”
This only works if you actually mean it. If you go home and complain to your spouse about the coach’s politics, your kid will hear it. Then they’ll think they didn’t make it because the system is unfair, not because they have room to grow.
Some kids do belong on A. If yours is one of them, that’ll be clear next season when they move up. Until then, focus on effort, not outcome.