Your team got beat 6-1. The coach looked tired on the sideline. Your kid had a rough game.
Most parents text the coach Saturday night. Most of those texts are wrong.
The texts you should not send
Sympathy that turns into critique. Tough one out there. Was Eli playing the new position?
Dressed-up complaint. I know you had a plan, but Eli looked confused.
Anything starting with just wanted to share.
The text that works
If you’re going to text, send this one. Tough game. You had a hard sideline today. Hope the team gets a good week of practice in.
Three sentences. No question. No critique. No mention of your kid.
Why this works
The coach is also processing. He’s reading every text he gets through a tired filter. A short, kind, no-pressure text reminds him that not every parent in the chat is grading him.
Coaches remember which parents do this. The 2pm Sunday calls about lineup changes go more cleanly with parents who sent the Saturday-night kindness text.
Most weeks, send nothing
The default is silence. The coach does not need a text after most games. The team chat will fire off twelve messages already. You are doing yourself and the coach a favor by being one of the parents who doesn’t pile on.
When to skip even the short kind text
If you’re tempted to follow it with anything else, skip it. The kindness text is a discipline of stopping at three sentences. If you have a fourth sentence, save it for Tuesday in person.
The Sunday morning version
Sometimes a text on Sunday morning is better than Saturday night. Hope the family had a good Sunday. Looking forward to the week. That’s a parent the coach wants to see Tuesday.
The point isn’t to butter up the coach. The point is to send messages that the coach doesn’t have to manage. The coach manages enough.
Your text should not be a thing he manages.