You don’t have an hour to research every camp. You have ten minutes between the laundry and the email backlog. Here’s the version that works.

Pull up the camp’s website. Set a timer. Ask these eight questions in this order. The way they answer, or don’t, tells you almost everything.

1. Who is running the camp this week?

Not the program director. The actual head coach on the field. If the website lists a coach who hasn’t worked the camp in three years, that’s not an accident.

2. What’s the kid-to-coach ratio?

Anything over 12 to 1 is a glorified daycare. 6 to 1 is what you’re paying for at a real camp. If the site doesn’t say, that’s the answer.

3. What does a Tuesday afternoon actually look like?

Not Monday morning, when everyone is fresh. Tuesday at 2pm. If the schedule is vague after lunch, the camp is light after lunch.

4. What happens when a kid is struggling?

Real camps have a response. Pull-aside coaching. A gear adjustment. A different coach. If the answer is “they get better with practice,” that’s not an answer.

5. What’s the lunch situation?

Pack their own. Catered. Field trip to a sandwich shop. Each one is fine. The camp not knowing is not.

6. Where are the bathrooms?

For overnight, this is a bigger question than parents ask. Cabin? Across the field? Are they shared? Is there hot water? Your kid will drink less if they’re worried about the answer.

7. What’s the refund policy?

If a kid hates day one. If they get the flu. If you have a death in the family. Camps that have run for years have a real policy. Camps that don’t will tell you “we’ll work with you,” which means they will not.

8. What do parents say about week three of last summer?

Not the testimonial on the site. Reviews. Comments. A real opinion from a parent who paid the same money you’re about to pay.

The pattern that matters

Good camps answer each of these in one or two specific sentences. Bad camps reach for marketing language. The word “elite” appears more than once on the homepage. The phrase “world-class” appears anywhere. The staff page is a list of bios for people not actually on site this summer.

The ten-minute version

Two minutes per question. Not all eight. Pick the four that matter most for your kid. For a five-year-old it’s questions 2, 5, 6, and 8. For an eleven-year-old it’s 1, 3, 4, and 7. For a college-bound fourteen-year-old it’s 1, 4, 7, and a ninth question we didn’t put in the list. Will the actual college coach be on the field, or just at the welcome dinner?

You learn that one by reading recent reviews from parents who paid for the camp last summer.

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