Tryouts ended. The list goes up Monday. Between now and then, you’re trying to read the tea leaves.

The signs.

They got pulled aside by a coach

Sometimes good. Coach is asking them about position preferences or bringing them into the next round. Sometimes the courtesy talk before the cut.

To tell which: did the coach ask them a positive specific question, or talk about what to work on for next year? The first is usually a yes signal. The second is usually a no.

They got grouped with the older kids

Coaches at multi-age tryouts will sometimes move kids up to test how they hold up. If your kid was moved up and held up, that’s a yes signal. If they were moved up and got eaten alive, that’s neutral. The coach was just testing.

The water break talk

Coaches who chat with a kid during water break are gathering more data. Could be either way. Don’t read too much into it.

The body language

Coaches’ shoulders lean toward the kids they want. They make more eye contact with the kids they’re picking. They write more notes about the kids they’re choosing.

You probably won’t see this clearly from the bleachers. Don’t try to read it.

The friend factor

If your kid’s friend is unmistakably going to make the team and your kid is the same skill level, your kid is probably making it too. Coaches use the existing roster as a calibration.

The thing that doesn’t matter

Whether the coach said hi to you. Whether you’ve coached against this coach before. Whether you bought the right cleats for tryouts.

Coaches make decisions based on what the kid does on the field.

The hardest sign

They think they did well and you’re not sure. The kid’s self-assessment is often optimistic. Adjust slightly downward in your projection.

They think they did badly and you watched them. If you saw real moments of competence, they’re underselling. Adjust slightly upward.

What you do during the wait

Don’t talk about it constantly. Don’t bring it up at every meal. Don’t text other parents to compare notes.

The list comes when it comes. Filling the wait with anxiety doesn’t move it forward.

The conversation you have during the wait

You played hard. We’re proud of you regardless. Whatever the list says, we’re going to figure out what’s next together.

Said once, on the way home from tryouts. Don’t repeat it daily.

The Sunday calm

If the list is on Monday, Sunday should be normal. Pancakes. A movie. Errands. Don’t let the wait dominate the family.

The Monday morning

The list often goes up at 5pm Monday. The day will be long. Tell your kid the time. Don’t let them refresh the link a hundred times.

When the time comes, you’re with them or near them. The result lands. You handle it.

The thing to remember

Whether they’re on the bubble or not, the list is one event. The next list is in a year. The career is many lists. The person they are becoming through the lists is the bigger thing.

Most kids who are on the bubble at 11 are clearly on the team or off the team by 14. The body and the work catch up.

The wait is hard. The wait ends.