At eleven to twelve, different leagues have different rules about substitutions. Most parents don’t know what the rule is. Then they get mad when their kid doesn’t play.
The rotation rule Some leagues mandate that every kid plays equal time. Not equal playing time in the game. Equal time on the field. If you play six kids a side and there are three rotations, everyone plays two rotations.
This means your kid plays, gets pulled, sits, plays again. It’s not the same as being a starter. It’s equal time.
The starters rule Some leagues have no substitution rules. The coach picks a starting lineup and can sub at will. If your kid is not a starter, she might play four minutes. She might play thirty. It depends on the game.
What to ask the coach “What’s the substitution rule for this league?” Most coaches will tell you. Some won’t. If they won’t, email the league. The rule exists. You’re allowed to know it.
The playing-time conversation Don’t have it after week one. Have it after four weeks. By then you know if the coach is building something or just playing favorites.
The right question: “What does she need to work on to play more?” Not: “Why isn’t she playing?” The first one gets you information. The second gets you defensive answers.
What not to do Don’t email the coach after every game about playing time. Don’t bring it up at halftime. Don’t tell your kid the coach is unfair. Those all make it worse.
The bigger picture At this age, kids are learning about competition. Some kids are ready. Some aren’t. Some coaches are developing players. Some are just trying to win games.
The rule is the rule. The coach’s decision is within that rule. Your job is to understand the rule and let the coach do his job.
Ask once. Accept the answer. Watch your kid improve or don’t. Then decide whether this team is the right fit.