Your kid lost the game. Here's what to say.
What to say after a loss. Different from a bad game. The script for the moment when the team played hard and still came up short.
What they're feeling
- · Disappointment that goes deeper than a regular bad day.
- · Sometimes guilt about a specific moment, even if they weren't the only one in it.
- · Questioning whether the work was worth it.
- · Tired in a way that's not just physical.
What to say (pick one)
- "That hurts. I'm sorry."
- "I loved the way you played."
- "Want quiet, or want to talk?"
Then stop talking.
What not to say
- "It's just a game."
- "You'll get them next time."
- "If you'd just done X, you would have won."
The rule
A loss deserves to be a loss. Don't talk them out of feeling it.
If they bring it up
- · Sit with the feeling. Don't fix it.
- · If they want to talk through what happened, listen first. Don't add.
- · Save 'what we learned' for next week. Tonight is for tonight.
Save this
After a loss
- · Don't minimize. The loss is real.
- · No 'just a game.' No 'you'll get them next time.'
- · Sit with it. Tomorrow is tomorrow.
parentcoachplaybook.com/scripts
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