Your kid is upset after the game. Here's what to do.
Tears in the parking lot. Slamming the car door. Shutting down. The script for the moments words don't reach yet.
What they're feeling
- · Overwhelmed.
- · Embarrassed about being overwhelmed.
- · Not ready to be fixed.
- · Watching you to see if you can handle it.
What to say (pick one)
- "I'm here."
- "That looked like a lot."
- "Take whatever time you need."
Then stop talking.
What not to say
- "It's not that big a deal."
- "Don't cry, you're fine."
- "Tell me what happened, right now."
The rule
Regulate the moment before you evaluate it.
If they bring it up
- · Sit in the silence. It's not your job to fill it.
- · If they cry, let them cry. Don't talk over it.
- · When they're ready, they'll start. Match their pace, not yours.
Save this
When they're upset
- · Regulate the moment before you evaluate it.
- · Sit in silence. It's not your job to fill it.
- · Wait for them to start. Match their pace.
parentcoachplaybook.com/scripts
You might also need
Your kid had a bad game. Here's what to say.
What to say in the first 90 seconds when the game went badly. The script that protects the relationship and the rest of the week.
Your kid is silent in the car. Here's what to do.
Headphones on. Window seat. Nothing to say. The drive home when silence is the answer, not a problem to fix.
Your kid didn't play much. Here's what to say.
The hardest car ride of the season. The script that doesn't make the coach the enemy and doesn't make your kid feel small.