After a teammate's serious injury
The kid who saw it happen. The kid who was on the play. The script for the drive home when somebody got hurt.
What they're feeling
- · Shaken. Sometimes more than they show.
- · Worried about the teammate.
- · If they were on the play, guilty even if they didn't cause it.
- · Worried it could happen to them.
- · Not sure whether it's okay to think about anything else.
What to say (pick one)
- "That was scary. I'm glad you're okay."
- "Do you know if they're going to be alright?"
- "Is there anything you want to do tonight, like text them?"
Then stop talking.
What not to say
- "These things happen, don't worry about it."
- "You're fine. They'll be fine."
- "Did the coach say what happened? (Pumping for info.)"
- "That's why I told you to keep your head up."
The rule
Witnessing an injury is its own thing. Don't rush past it. Don't make them perform okay-ness.
If they bring it up
- · Let them tell what they saw at their pace.
- · If they were involved in the play, name it: 'That was an accident. Accidents happen in sports.'
- · Encourage but don't force them to reach out to the teammate. Some kids will. Some can't yet. Both are okay.
- · Watch their sleep and mood for the next week. Witnessing real injury sometimes shows up later.
Save this
After a teammate's injury
- · Slow down. Don't rush past it.
- · Let them tell the story at their pace.
- · Watch the next week for sleep, appetite, mood shifts.
- · Reaching out to the teammate is encouraged, not required.
parentcoachplaybook.com/scripts
You might also need
Your kid is upset after the game. Here's what to do.
Tears in the parking lot. Slamming the car door. Shutting down. The script for the moments words don't reach yet.
Your kid is silent in the car. Here's what to do.
Headphones on. Window seat. Nothing to say. The drive home when silence is the answer, not a problem to fix.