Your kid didn't play much. Here's what to say.
The hardest car ride of the season. The script that doesn't make the coach the enemy and doesn't make your kid feel small.
What they're feeling
- · Overlooked.
- · Frustrated, sometimes ashamed.
- · Wondering if they're not good enough.
- · Watching whether you're going to make it about the coach.
What to say (pick one)
- "I know that was hard."
- "I'm proud of how you stayed ready."
- "Do you want to vent, or do you want help thinking through it?"
Then stop talking.
What not to say
- "That coach is terrible."
- "You're better than half those kids."
- "I'm going to talk to him."
The rule
Don't make the coach the enemy. Help your kid stay in control of what they can improve.
If they bring it up
- · Let them vent first. Don't jump to fixing.
- · If they want help, focus on what's in their control: effort, attitude, asking the coach a real question.
- · Save the coach conversation for a Tuesday, not the car ride.
Save this
After no playing time
- · Validate the frustration. Don't validate making the coach a villain.
- · Ask what they want from you: vent or strategy.
- · Coach conversation belongs to a Tuesday, not the car ride.
parentcoachplaybook.com/scripts
You might also need
Your kid had a bad game. Here's what to say.
What to say in the first 90 seconds when the game went badly. The script that protects the relationship and the rest of the week.
Your kid is upset after the game. Here's what to do.
Tears in the parking lot. Slamming the car door. Shutting down. The script for the moments words don't reach yet.