When they don't make captain
The kid who thought they would. Sometimes they say something. Often they don't. The script for the silent disappointment.
What they're feeling
- · Surprised, even if they pretend not to be.
- · Re-evaluating how they're seen by the team.
- · Sometimes embarrassed they hoped for it.
- · Watching whether you'll bring it up.
What to say (pick one)
- "I saw the captain announcement."
- "How are you feeling about it?"
- "(Then quiet. Wait.)"
Then stop talking.
What not to say
- "You should have been captain."
- "Coach made a mistake."
- "Next year. (Maybe. Maybe not.)"
- "It's not a big deal. (It is to them today.)"
The rule
Don't tell them how to feel about it. Find out how they feel about it.
If they bring it up
- · If they say they don't care, ask one follow-up. 'Are you sure?' Listen to the answer.
- · If they say they're upset, validate without getting bigger. 'Yeah, you put in the work to be considered. That's real.'
- · If they ask why they didn't get picked, the honest answer is 'I don't know. Captain decisions are about a lot of things. The coach saw something this year.'
- · Don't volunteer that you'll talk to the coach. You won't, and offering it sets up a different problem.
Save this
When they don't make captain
- · Ask once. Then quiet.
- · Don't trash the coach. Don't trash the picks.
- · Resist promising next year. Some kids never get it.
- · Captain isn't a verdict on them. Be careful not to act like it is.
parentcoachplaybook.com/scripts
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