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Parent Coach Playbook

Scripts

Your kid had a meltdown at practice

Tears, walking off, throwing equipment. The script for picking them up afterward without making it bigger or smaller than it is.

What they're feeling

  • · Mortified.
  • · Sometimes still in the moment, sometimes already shut down.
  • · Watching to see if you're going to bring it up at home.
  • · Sometimes physically hungry or tired in a way that built into a meltdown.

What to say (pick one)

  • "I'm here. Take whatever time."
  • "When you're ready to eat, let me know."
  • "We don't have to talk about practice tonight unless you want to."

Then stop talking.

What not to say

  • "What is wrong with you?"
  • "You can't do that in front of the team."
  • "You embarrassed yourself."
  • "We're going to have a talk when we get home. (Threat-shaped.)"

The rule

Regulate first. Evaluate later. Sometimes evaluation is the next day. Sometimes it's never.

If they bring it up

  • · If they explain, listen. Don't fix the explanation.
  • · If they apologize, accept. 'I love you. Tough practice.' Move on.
  • · If they bring up the coach's reaction, ask 'what did Coach say to you?' Listen first.
  • · If a pattern emerges, the conversation about why practice keeps melting them down is its own conversation. Pick a calm moment. Not the car ride home.

Save this

After a meltdown at practice

  • · Regulate first. Don't lecture.
  • · Food, water, quiet. The basics first.
  • · Save the conversation for later. Or never.
  • · Watch for patterns. Pattern means something else is going on.

parentcoachplaybook.com/scripts

You might also need

Your kid is upset after the game. Here's what to do.

Tears in the parking lot. Slamming the car door. Shutting down. The script for the moments words don't reach yet.

Your kid is silent in the car. Here's what to do.

Headphones on. Window seat. Nothing to say. The drive home when silence is the answer, not a problem to fix.

Your kid had a bad game. Here's what to say.

What to say in the first 90 seconds when the game went badly. The script that protects the relationship and the rest of the week.

Your kid made a big mistake. Here's what to say.

The dropped ball, the missed shot, the play that cost the game. The script that lets the mistake be a mistake without becoming an identity.